“As flies to wanton boys are we to th’ gods.
They kill us for their sport.”
-King Lear (4.1.41-42)
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FADE IN
EXT. CARTOON FOREST- DAY
Birds chirp and autumn leaves fall in tranquility.
DAFFY DUCK and BUGS BUNNY stand in front of a large oak tree whose current signage reads “Duck Season”.
Daffy pulls the flyer off to reveal a different one underneath.
DAFFY DUCK
Wabbit season!
Bugs pulls this flyer off to reveal yet another.
BUGS BUNNY
DUCK Season!
DAFFY DUCK
Wabbit season!
BUGS BUNNY
Duck Season!
DAFFY DUCK
Wabbit season!
BUGS BUNNY
Duck Season!
Flyers flutter through the air, landing like scattered leaves in the forest clearing.
ELMER FUDD visibly sweats, his hands shaking as he adjusts his aim with every revelation. The barrel of his rifle darts from Daffy to Bugs in confused repetition.
Bugs’ eyes narrow with contempt.
BUGS BUNNY
Slay me, villain. Or does your trigger finger waver because you are no longer certain it is rabbit season? Did you not confirm the specifics of your hunt when you threw your rifle into the trunk of your Trans Am this morning, you incompetent fool?
Elmer tugs at the collar of his jacket.
ELMER
I’m just followin’ the rules-
BUGS BUNNY
Or could it be that it does not matter to you which season it is? You are not hunting us for subsistence or sport; you came out here to play God and make us beg to continue our meager existence.
Elmer considers this,and then begins to weep. He lowers his head in shame, rifle likewise pointing to the ground.
ELMER
I’m a monster. Please forgive me wittle forest creatures; I knew not what I did.
DAFFY DUCK
Absolution cannot come without cost.
ELMER
I’ll serve the animals from now on, I’ll make amends-
DAFFY DUCK
You have disrupted the natural order of life, tormenting us into betraying one another. You made us violate the sacred covenant all prey hold dear.
BUGS BUNNY
The only salvation you’ll find is resting in the barrel of your rifle.
Elmer turns the gun toward himself.
A shot rings out, and birds scatter.
EXT. GATE TO THE FOREST – LATER
The wind blows away some foliage covering a sign that says “Hunting season over. Go home!”
The duo winks.
THAT’S ALL FOLKS
